After eating at dive bars for most of our chili reviews, the scene at Pump Haus couldn’t be any more different. The downtown Cedar Falls spot was crawling with coeds wearing backwards hats and short shorts even though it was hardly 40 degrees out. Our spunky waitress was excited to tell us about the $2 drink specials on all beverages we don’t mess with anymore. All of a sudden it was a little clearer why the place was goin’ up on a Tuesday.

Pump Haus is the kind of bar where you are asked for your ID by someone who is easily 5 years younger than you. But the vibe was light and fun and the booths move when you sit down so you kind of just go with it.  We ordered up 2 bowls of chili and the only craft beer on the menu and waited the usual 5 minutes.

Unfortunately the odorless, lightly colored dish give clues to what we were about to encounter. Once the chili was set in front of us we noticed something we have never seen before. It was something so presumptuous and tacky that we were immediately turned off. The spoon was already in the bowl! It was downright irritating. It was that feeling you get when your best friend watched ahead in Game of Thrones and can’t stop hinting about the crazy thing that’s about to happen. Astonished at the presentation I lifted the spoon to take a bite. Each spoonful was chewier than the last due to so few chunks of meat that all you tasted was the beans. It was off color and soupy; all of these things made this recipe one of the lowest scores we’ve encountered.

This situation made one unwrap the crackers not to put in your bowl but to eat because you wanted something to be tasty and consistent. It was hard to finish, and we ended up throwing our napkins over the bowls so the waitress wouldn’t notice how unsatisfied we were. Thankfully she bought us the check to quickly pay before she cleared the table. Luckily we scored a spot right in front so our getaway car was ready for our Irish goodbye. My advice for future patrons: come for the cheap drinks, but skip the cheap chili.

Official Breggie Rating: 4.5